6 New Year’s Resolutions Made By No Teacher Ever

Another year, another New Year’s resolution. The thing is, we trust that you know yourself well enough to make your own resolutions. Even if you’re unsure, there are more than enough people and articles willing to dictate how you should improve the next 365 days of your life.

Not us. We’re more interested in what would constitute the antithesis of a teacher’s New Year’s Resolution. Let’s see…

I’m Going to Let Best Friends Sit Together

It’s not that teachers want to impede friendships — they simply enjoy maintaining their sanity. Best friends have a way of talking and scheming all year long, even if they’re across the classroom from one another. Put them within arm’s reach? That’s a recipe for spitballs and mid-class Ouija board sessions. No, thanks.

I’m Going to Assign Tons of Difficult-to-Grade Activities

Because grading poorly written essays until 2 a.m. is the bane of every teacher’s existence. If it were up to you guys, we bet everything would be a Scantron. Even the essays. Because how hard can it be to write something coherent with the letters A-E? Restriction breeds creativity — or so they say.

I’m Going to Implement Each and Every Parent Suggestion

The parent-teacher relationship is an interesting one. We’ll leave it at that. It has its highs and lows, and no matter how much you love a certain parent, they’re bound to suggest some off-the-wall method for improving your teaching game. When it comes down to it, you’re the teacher, and you know best. And no, you can’t (or won’t) chew little Timmy’s lunch for him, sensitive teeth or no.

I’m Going to Avoid Using Facebook, Youtube, Etc. At Work

Let’s face it: sometimes that video of a kitten dressed as a firefighter is all that gets you through the day. While it’s ill-advised to neglect your students and seek out laughs on the internet, it doesn’t make sense to deprive yourself of digital joy all day long. It’s okay — sneak a few peeks at Reddit while your kids are on the playground. We won’t tell.

I’m Going to Spend Weekends Writing Lesson Plans

Kids aren’t the only ones who need to rest up on the weekends. Teachers, we know you work hard. You deserve to play hard, too.

I’m Not Going to Seethe When Students Ask the Same Question

It’s a noble aspiration. But let’s be honest: there’s nothing more infuriating than answering a question, only to have it asked five more times in the next two minutes. Listen, for goodness’ sake!

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